Some mothers organise their work sensitively: Sheila Kitzinger, natural childbirth activist, wrote very early in the morning, before her children were awake, whereas Laura Ashley was known to design late at night, after her children had gone to sleep. The author picks up steam with these bizarre arguments as the book goes on. Especially When It Looks Like Nothing was a phenomenal book, deceptively skilled. This is not part of the job-description of being a mother, but many mothers do it. Because every family situation is unique, there cannot be one single blueprint for being a good mother. The isolation that so many mothers describe is not necessary. Author Biography Naomi Stadlen has unique experience of listening to mothers.
And yes, this is a relatively new phenomenon, an unfortunate side effect of the tremendous strides women have made outside the domestic sphere in the last century. Nevertheless, with the internet linking so many of us, we can hold genuine discussions. That was difficult to even understand, frankly. When adults relate to one another, they are building on the foundations usually laid down by their mothers. Drawing from countless conversations with hundreds of mothers spanning more than a decade, What Mothers Do provides lucid insight into the true experience of motherhood and answers the perennial question common to mothers everywhere: What have I done all day? She does address head on the complex issues around spending time apart from one's child, in particular for paid work, in a compassionate and realistic way.
It is exactly what I needed! Though the narrative meanders at times, mothers will relate to the voices of the women, and take comfort in Stadlen's kudos. How Mothers Love is a detailed study of this long term overview; Stadlen has been able to examine her own experience as a mother of three and a grandmother of two, as well as all the insights she has acquired over twenty years of La Lèche League and the Mothers Talking meetings. Children flourish when their mothers love and understand them. As the author correctly identifies right from the get go, most mothers struggle deeply to articulate their experiences, not just to the outside world but even to themselves. Mothering can seem so intimate, yet it is not just a private activity. By sharing the experiences of other mothers, Naomi Stadlen offers reassurance and support to all new parents as they navigate the highs and lows of the early years with their babies.
When adults relate to one another, they are building on the foundations usually laid down by their mothers. There may be fewer women who feel able to be at home. She has been running London-based weekly discussion groups called Mothers Talking for many years. Naomi Stadlen has had the unique experience of listening to hundreds of mothers talk about their experiences, both in her weekly discussion group Mothers Talking, which she founded more than 15 years ago at the Active Birth Centre in London, and in her private practice as a psychotherapist specializing in parenting. Surely a mother who has chosen to sacrifice her sleep deserves respect and admiration for her generous mothering. Naomi Stadlen allows mothers to speak for themselves but gently, perhaps even humbly, draws out the themes.
It validates how hard mothering is and suggests a new way to look at it - a way that makes it feel as important as it truly is. This book spoke directly to me. For over 20 years, Naomi Stadlen has listened to hundreds of mothers talking at her weekly discussion groups. I am certainly going to make it my number one recommendation to any new mother who shows the all too familiar signs of identity crisis, guilt or self-deprecation that seem so tragically to afflict new moms today. She is a qualified psychotherapist and also a mother and grandmother. By sharing the experiences of other mothers, Naomi Stadlen offers reassurance and support to all new parents as they navigate the highs and lows of the early years with their babies.
Remarkably perceptive and heartening, What Mothers Do will resonate with mothers everywhere in search of understanding and wisdom. Mothers learn a great deal from doing this. For over 20 years, Naomi Stadlen has listened to hundreds of mothers talking at her weekly discussion groups. Yet the overriding sentiment is one of empowerment and wonder, as Stadlen illustrates how seemingly insignificant skills such as responding to a baby's colicky cry, being instantly interruptible, or soothing an overstimulated child to sleep profoundly contribute to an individual's socialization, self-worth, and curiosity. The quotes describing the experiences of mostly young mothers made an interesting read and provided a good basis to reflect on my own thoughts and feelings on the beautiful and complex experience of motherhood. It is especially important to do this today. This is not a game of Ain't It Awful or Isn't It Heavenly.
It's unfortunate that what is for me the weakest part of the book is at the end when she stops using mothers' own voices so much and writes about styles of parenting in terms of Athenian or Spartan - a topic covered better in Sue Gerhardt's The Selfish Society where similar categories are placed in historical and societal context. By sharing the experiences of other mothers, Naomi Stadlen offers reassurance and support to all new parents as they navigate the highs and lows of the early years with their babies. You know that feeling when you connect with someone who really gets you, and maybe can even articulate things you never realized you were thinking? Mothers describe falling in love with their babies and then, more slowly, learning to understand them. Fortunately, many parents still prefer to comfort their babies. Together, mothers are a vast and widespread international group.
Participants said they had enjoyed both. Stadlen's work is with mothers of young and largely 'normal' children. The problem is that once you have gotten your nifty new product, the how mothers love stadlen naomi gets a brief glance, maybe a once over, but it often tends to get discarded or lost with the original packaging. Once we become mothers, we also develop new relationships with one another. A psychotherapist specializing in parenting issues, founder of the London-based weekly discussion group Mothers Talking, and a La Leche League breastfeeding counselor, the author quotes a range of mothers throughout, exploring their feelings about their roles as nurturers and caregivers. Finally a piece a literature which gives all mothers permission to do what we need to do, especially to trust ourselves. But surely the love that mothers give their babies is unique.
It seems terrible that these hardworking women think of themselves as failures as a result. When adults relate to one another, they are building on the foundations usually laid down by their mothers. As a Breastfeeding Counsellor, the work I do is a drop in the ocean. In its quest to describe and explain how mothers and babies relate to each other, and to examine the implications of this for the development of relationships in later life, the book provides another wealth of anecdotal colour that would sit alongside a more sciencey tome such as. The large Swedenborg Hall was immediately filled with bright sounds of story-telling, like groups round hot camp fires.